You Cannot Make Your Shimmy Shake On Tea, Irving Berlin, 1919

‘Tis a sad, sad day for me
This day of lemonade and tea
For now my dancing aspirations haven’t got a chance
In the Harlem cabarets
I used to spend my nights and days
Partaking of my favorite indoor sport, the shimmy dance
On the day they introduced their prohibition laws
They just went and ruined the greatest shimmy dancer because

You cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
It simply can’t be done
You’ll find your shaking ain’t taking

Unless you has the proper jazz
That only comes with such drinks as
Green River, Haig and Haig, and Hennessey

Way out in China
Among the pale Chinese
There’s nothing finer
Than good old China teas

But then you never saw a Chinaman
A-shaking his chemise
'Cause you cannot make your shimmy shake on tea

You cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
It simply can’t be done
You’ll find your shaking ain’t taking

The shimmy, it is intricate
And so you needs a little bit
Of Scotch or rye to lubricate your knee

A cup of Ceylon
It may be strong or weak
Won’t help you spoil on
Because it’s much too meek

Besides, a drink that’s soft
Will very often ruin your technique
No, you cannot make your shimmy shake on tea